November 10, 1814
Greystone Manor, Licolnshire
I understand you don’t care to hear from me anymore, however, I still must wish you a happy birthday. I am planning my come out for next spring. I am hiring a society widow to sponsor me. It is rather lowering to think I have no one close to me to perform this duty and I am in fact wondering if it is even something I should take the time and expense to do. However Tibby insists that a woman of my station should make her bow to society at least once and it will give me the opportunity to get some “town polish” as she says. I think she is also hoping for me to make a match with some unsuspecting young man. Not many men out there will put up with me though I’m afraid. I have become to used to managing my own affairs, I will not give it up easily.
I hope the countryside agrees with you.
December 13, 1814
Dear Miss Abbingdon,
The Captain at first refused to read your letter and gave instructions that it be returned to you unopened. I left it on the table in the front hallway for several days however, and noticed just this morning that the seal had been broken which I take to mean he has read it and is not yet ready to admit perhaps even to himself that he would like to resume his correspondence with you.
I write you this not to discourage you, but rather the opposite. Please continue to reach out to him. I feel you may be the only consistently good thing in his life.
January 1, 1815
Happy New Year!
I feel in my bones this will be a year of good fortune and many changes that are a long time in coming.
I have discovered through some investigations done via an agent I hired that my trustees have been embezzling funds from me. The amount which has gone into their own hands is astounding. It is only through my management of the funds I began investing many years ago that the estate is still solvent. No more money will be put into their hands from the estate, however I do not yet know how to bring suit against them to recover what has been stolen. If such a thing is even possible. I am full of righteous fury and once more wish I were indeed a witch so that I could exact justice upon them!
I will be traveling to London as soon as the weather allows. I must take care of the thieves as well as prepare for my come out. I must also sort out the issue of my guardianship as I can no longer allow criminals to act as such for me. It is all rather overwhelming when I think on it. I realize I have become outrageously independent as a result of my unconventional upbringing. However, from time to time I do wish I had another to lean upon. I don’t imagine I am unique in that wish, as all of humankind is likely to wish for such a thing when it is notably absent.
I refuse to become maudlin however and will close with this. My prayers are still with you and I still look forward to a day when we can meet.
February 17, 1815
I hope this letter finds you in good health. You must have remembered all my assurances that I am very accomplished at one-sided conversations. I have to admit to a great deal of frustration, with you, with the weather, with the lack of progress in finding justice regarding my trustees, with life in general at this point.
It is not a happy birthday, and if anyone wishes me one today I am afraid I will be more likely to snap off their nose instead of smile my thanks.
The weather has continued foul all this year and so I have not been able to start on my journey to London. Tibby is of two minds regarding my proposed journey. She of course acknowledges that my presence in the capitol will make bringing Mssrs. Everard and Cooper to task for their theft much more likely. However I am just now turned seventeen and my youth is still an issue apparently. But how is an orphan to get any justice if the very people who are meant to provide help and assistance are those who are the miscreants? But Tibby is also hesitant to travel so far once more in inclement weather, with no one but a driver and a groom for protection. She is afraid too that I will find only disappointment at the end of the journey, for without any powerful connections in the city, who can I get to believe me and take up the fight?
I have told her I do not care, that I need to have some forward momentum so that I can rest easy in my mind that Mr. Everard and Mr. Cooper are made to pay for what they have done. The only way I can see to do that is to brave the snow and rain and the jolting carriage to make sure something, anything! happens.
Enough of my rant however. I know you have your own burdens and troubles and so should not complain about mine.
You remain dear to me, I hope one day with time you will feel able to once more return the sentiment.